Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Guest Post: Tantrums 101, by Callan

Sup, I'm Kellie's oldest son, Callan....
 Now that I am a big brother and        1 & 3/4ths years old I have decided to dip my toe in the art of tantrums and throwing myself on the floor....

First things first...Reasons to pout, throw a tantrum, and /or throw yourself on the floor: ANY...yep, any reason will do.

If your Mom tries to take anything away from you...ever...
here's what you need to do:
  • Scream your face-off- make sure to follow her around the house while doing this. Now, any rookie can do this but if you can recruit your little brother or sis and have them join in then bonus points...you've really made an effort.
  • Look at her in anger and hit something, anything...but not too hard as you might hurt yourself.  She'll say "no hitting, be sweet" but dont let that sway you....do it again playa.
  • Take something and throw it, anything will do really...but if you really want a reaction I recommend either going for her cell phone or a drink within reach....but be careful on this one because if there's something called "wine" ?sp? in it then you are in really big trouble! Now I haven't done this one yet, I'm saving it for when I really want to do a little "character building" on Mom---> throw her phone IN her drink!!!! Oh man....
  • Now here's an optional mind game you can use on her.....Just stop crying and laugh...just for a second though. **Dont over use this one...as you will prob get "evaluated" and put on meds.

How to throw yourself on the floor properly..

Its very basic...hover very low and close to the floor and gently fall on your stomach, arms spread.

The other day I made kind of a rookie move though...I was outside and Mom and Dad were taking me to the fair, Dad had to go back inside and get the keys to his truck....so I had to teach them a lesson....If you say we are going BYE, BYE...then we need to go BYE, BYE! I screamed and was about to throw myself on the ground when I noticed it was gravel and dirt, so I had to change locations mid-tantrum.  So I kept on NOT-keeping-my-cool and hovered as low to the ground as possible as I searched for a more suitable place to fall, the rug at the backdoor fit the bill, so bam. This made Mom laugh...rookie move, I know but once I started,  I had to commit.