So. Eli's birth story. Let's see if my mama brain will cooperate. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to have a natural birth. It was mostly based on the thought of "My mama did it that way, why can't I?" That was about the gist of it - I knew no more, no less. I received many of the same expressions from family and friends - "Ooo girl, you have no idea what you're talkin' about!" and "Just wait. You'll get the epidural. I bet you." So much love and support!! (insert sarcastic face here) Whatever. I knew what I wanted and My husband Brandon was totally on board on with it - whatever I wanted my experience to be, he supported it. That was SO helpful for me.
We had some friends who were also expecting and they told Brandon about the Bradley Method for natural child birth so we looked into it. It sounded great! We found a teacher in the area and even though she already started the course (I was about 30 weeks at the time and it's a 12 week course) she let us join the class and gave us a little catch up sesh (that's short for session, I'm so hip) before our first class. So. Much. Information. Honestly, I was little overwhelmed at first but I'm incredibly thankful we found out about Bradley courses. Even for those NOT planning a natural birth, Bradley courses have a WEALTH of information regarding pregnancy, labor, breastfeeding, and postpartum. There is a ton of education to prepare you for your little bundle. Fast forward about 8 weeks. I had been having an extremely easy pregnancy (no morning sickness, no low back pain or sciatica - I know, you wanna shoot me) but my blood pressure had been high pretty consistently for a month or more and I started swelling a whole awful lot. I guess that's what happens when you're due in the middle of a Texas summer... So anyway, by the time I was at my 39 week check up, my blood pressure was higher than normal (again) and swelling was still severe so I was put on bed rest. I went back to work crying because I felt bad having to tell my coworkers they were on their own! Eep!
Within 5 days of being on bed rest, I lost 4 lbs of water weight - Whoa! That was a lot of swelling. We tried going to the pool so I could walk in the water to help things move along. Nothing happened. More walking in water, more nothing happening. My due date came and went (Kellie ain't lying about that guessing game of a due date - It don't mean much!!) People would ask when I was due and I would promptly throat punch them. Not really. Just in my mind.
At 41 weeks (a Wednesday) my Doc did a non-stress test (I think that's the name) and I was having mild contractions during it. That's probably because she just shoved her hand up my hoo-hah. Too graphic? #sorrynotsorry. Doc said she wanted to induce by Friday but was "SO SURE" I was gonna go into labor before that. Yeah, right. I woke up Friday morning at 4:30am to some mild, semi regular contractions - about every 10 minutes. We called the hospital to check if they had room for me to be induced and (prayers answered) they were full. Yay, more time! But, by noon the contractions had made their departure... We called Doc and she said I could come in and she could break my water first to jump start things. We figured that was better than Pitocin and went with it. Before we left I ate a large bowl of spaghetti (boy was that a bad idea. note to self: stick with bland foods next time).
We headed to the hospital at 4pm. She broke my water. An hour passed and nurses were not impressed and started me on Pitocin. I probably should have just been like "NO, GET OUT OF HERE PITOCIN WITCH!" But, I obliged. An hour later - owie! Things were movin'. The anesthesiologist came in a few hours later while I was DEEP in a very painful contraction and trying to relax through it. My husband told him no, she wants a natural birth (my husband being my sweet voice when I couldn't speak - love him) And the guy said "I need to hear it from her if she wants it on the table." Go away, dude, I'm a LITTLE occupied!!! I managed to get out a "No" and he was on his way. I had no concept of time but a few hours later (midnight?) I felt the urge to push. Nurse checked and I was fully dilated/effaced - it felt so good to push! It made the contractions so much more bearable. 3 hours of pushing later - no progress. My son, Eli, was still at the same station and had no plans of going anywhere.
It was 3:15ish in the morning and I was beyond exhausted. Doc said, in a very cautious manner, "I think it's time we discuss a c-section". All I remember is saying "okay" and everything else is a blur. I remember them giving me anti-nausea medication for my spinal tap - threw that up after the second sip. Awesome. They managed to get me into a wheel chair (still having extremely tough and close contractions, mind you) and rolled me over to the OR. They gave me the spinal and I felt sweet relief in what felt like seconds (I don't even remember feeling a jab - I was mid contraction and they were asking me to be still - OKAY, I'll try.)
At 3:42am, Eli was born and crying. I cried. It took a few minutes before they brought him over to me because they were concerned he aspirated his poop (I forget the word, lol) and then I saw my sweet babe. He was absolutely perfect. After that, they took him away (Hubby went with) and I got taken to the recovery room... Had I known then what I know now - I would have asked he be brought with me to breastfeed. I didn't see my son again until 7:30am. FOUR HOURS LATER. I was so exhausted and not in my right mind that I didn't ask about it or get a nurse - I just wondered where my son was and when they were bringing him. It was a surreal experience... I've just had my baby and now he's not with me. What?
A Doula would have been worth every penny it would have cost to have there with me. To be my voice when I had none, and to consult about things I had no knowledge about.... while I was in a such a vulnerable state. Still years later, I am left with these blocks of missing moments I should have been able to enjoy but didn't even get to experience. Get educated and don't be afraid to have a voice. I think some valuable advice for new Momma's would be: even when planning for a natural birth, be knowledgeable about all outcomes so that you can be prepared. It wouldn't hurt to have someone else there who knows what to expect so that they can be your voice when you are not in your right mind. Know better, do better.
We do plan on having another (or more) child[ren] and my goal is for a VBAC. At the same time, I am realistic and I plan on being 100% prepared if I am in need of another c-section and will know exactly what to ask/demand for the next go round. Don't let precious memories be taken away from your first birth experience; be more prepared than I was. You shouldn't have to wait for a second chance. :)
I could write out a long list of theories as to why I wasn't able to birth naturally with Eli but dwelling on the past isn't going to change it. All I know is that next time I would like to have a midwife instead who won't pressure me (and in turn stress me out) about being induced if I go past my date unless it's absolutely, 100% medically necessary. So, that's all... Do I get a cookie, now? ~Jessica
