At 14 1/2 months pregnant (not really) you dont go ANYWHERE with out your phone. Even taking a bath...so naturally I knew I was about to go into labor when I had accidentally kicked my cell phone in the tub trying to haul my ungraceful tank-like body out. So, if you want to go into labor just drop your phone in a bath tub full of water. Lose ALL of your contacts, and be unable to contact anyone you promised to keep updated when you go into labor. I think this was a blessing in disguise to tell you the truth....
 |
| Me on my Due Date |
Later that night, about midnight, I was lying in bed asleep when I heard the "click"! I can only describe it as a "click" inside my body. Instantly my eyes flew open, this was it! I was immediately flooded with emotions, excitement, fear. What a weird feeling to not know what the next 24 hours were gonna bring....only that Beau and I would finally get to hold the little person we made together. I got up to use the restroom and after an abnormal extended amount of time it became obvious that my water had broke...obvious later that is...it makes me laugh now, but at that moment I was very confused and uncertain as to if my water broke or if I just REALLY had to go to the bathroom. I guess I was in a little shock, I would look in the toilet and sit back down, look in the toilet and sit back down. I remained confused as to what to do next....Do I wake up Beau? Do I call my Midwife Toni? Am I ever going to be able to get off this toilet?? And then I thought to myself, oh wait...I need contractions, where are the contractions?? I started to worry, but not for long...oh they came.
 |
| only 11 days overdue |
We contacted Toni when the contractions got closer together and she arrived at our house around 8am, as did Cheryl who is her assistant and was my Bradley Instructor. Toni checked me and I was dilated to an 8! All was going perfect! Too good, as a matter of fact...
The next hour or two I still continued to dilate and was starting to have the urge to push. When Toni checked me though she felt a tiny little lip of my cervix being pulled down by the baby's head, so she didn't want me to push just yet. I continued to labor and contract and not push....she would check me and that lip would still be there....second verse same as the first- this continued for HOURS, but I held strong and kept myself "in the zone". While laboring I never looked at the clock, I mostly kept my eyes closed. I was very much focused, quiet and internal. The only time I realized exactly how many hours had passed was when I looked at the window and noticed the lighting, the sun was starting to go down.
Finally, Toni gave me the okay to start pushing, about 4:30 in the afternoon, so I pushed lying on the bed, I pushed on all fours, I pushed on the birthing ball, I pushed on the birthing stool, then back on the bed I pushed some more....I pushed on my side, on my back, squatting. Nothing. My arms were tired, my legs were tired, and I was tired. This is the point where I got very frustrated and wanted to cry. It was like I had missed my window of opportunity. My contractions were dwindling and becoming further apart. After pushing for nearly 4 hours, Toni suggested we go to the hospital and in defeat I agreed. As Beau was getting our things together Toni called ahead and gave the hospital our info and told them we were on our way. She then called Dr. Weslei Rice, who works with Toni's patients when needed and who I had seen a couple of times during my pregnancy. I liked Dr. Rice and I knew she was pro-natural, so I was very thankful that she was on-call and agreed to come in for me. I knew Dr. Rice would give me at least a fighting chance to avoid a C-section, slim chance for a woman of my stats- 42 weeks pregnant already in 20+ hours of labor.....
We left my house around 8pm, and while Toni drove us there I continued to have some contractions on the way. I would like to note at this point that the baby was never in danger or distress, his heart rate was normal through the entire labor. His safety was never in question and that was never an issue when deciding to go to the hospital. So many people had so many opinions about me having a home birth that I wanted to make sure it was clear that Callan was just fine. I was just exhausted. Want to really test your athleticism, have a baby.
We arrived at the hospital at 9pm or so, and at that point I had been in labor for 21 hours. The clock was ticking for me to have this baby, when your water breaks the timer starts and you get 24 hours to have your baby due to the risk of infection.
We got to our room and got all set up and they started the Pitocin. I was very nervous about this as you probably realize I would be....I had heard what Pitocin can do and it doesn't play around. I was still adamant about minimal interventions but knew I was losing my bargaining power by the minute since we were on the timer. My nurse, Carrie, I liked her...that was a plus. She had a little sass to her and she got my sense of humor, as you can imagine how delirious I was at that point. I handled the Pitocin well I guess because I never needed the epidural, but it felt like my body would involuntary curl up at each contraction. These contractions felt nothing like my previous ones earlier that day, these had some power to them... Dr. Rice showed up and we were ready to go, the Pitocin train had started and there was no stopping it!
 |
| Thankfully not this vacuum |
.jpg)
Before anything else that baby was handed to me and on my chest, all 9.8lbs, 21 1/2 inches and a head full of dark brown hair. We did delayed cord clamping and Beau cut the cord. I wish I had a picture of that moment when I was done and my little man was in my arms, there are no words, its indescribable. One of the most important and life changing moments in my life. I know getting married is a big milestone, but I might have to say that bringing a life into this world is an even bigger milestone! Imagine how birth would be if we took such great care in planning the details and making the personalized arrangements for our the birth of our children as we do planning a wedding! The food, music, candle lights, photographer, attendants, attire...ah here I am with my crazy talk, lol.
Things I learned:
So back to the part where I said I failed myself, I only really halfway mean that. I was beyond exhausted so I cant blame myself for making that choice at the time, but I really wish I would have just tried with the pitocin first and then see if I needed more help. I learned a very important lesson with that though, while your are in labor is not the best time to make rash decisions like I did about using a tool I knew basically nothing about, you & your spouse really need to be informed about that BEFORE you are in labor...if you can help it...That vacuum and the forcefulness of only having the 2 pushes to get out a baby left me a long road for recovery.
The dumbest question you can ask when a Doctor brings up a suggestion/procedure is "Is it safe?" the answer is yes, of course they think it is or they wouldn't have brought it up! Better questions are "What are the risks for me?" AND "What are the risks for the baby?"- and ideally this should be something you already know, have an educated opinion on, and the good Doc is just refreshing your memory.
In the end you know I'd be lying if I said I wasnt a little heartbroken that I didnt get my home birth, but I know that this was Gods plan for me. My experience was a beautiful one at home and in the hospital.
 |
| 1 day old |
 |
| 3 days old. Everyone always commented on how "alert" he was! |
