..... and then I would be her superhero and she would feel forever in my debt......or not
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vacuum cleaner- There will come a moment (or moments) when nothing you do will make your baby quit crying.....this will be your saving grace, yes the vacuum. The loud hum will calm your baby and even more importantly calm YOU. It makes them babies conk-out!....park that bad boy in your living room and use it, trust me!
Nose Frida- this is the ultimate snot sucker! Who are they kidding with those bulb syringes??? This is the real-deal-holyfield. It seems gross, at first, when you think about your mouth at one end and a snotty nose at the other. But this thing gets it all out and has as much sucking power as you can muster, and yes there is a filter so you will not ingest any of the grossness....its impossible. I have a napkin next to the baby's head and after inhale all that stuff into the tube I exhale it all on the napkin. It works like a charm to get your baby breathing freely again. Here's the link.
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water bottle you can carry with 1 finger- a friend of mine got one for me and it was used a lot! Something you dont even think about...but is very useful because you will have your hands full quite a bit!
dry shampoo- because showers tend to take a backseat and you'll have guests coming to see that sweet new bundle of joy!
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I found a cloth scrunchie and have been using it ever since, it saves my hair and is more comfortable for long term wearing, plus it looks really super rad...
Other helpful items....
mints/ gum- brushing your teeth tends to take a back seat, lol...I mean you'll eventually get to it sometime during the day but until then....
snack bars, muffins- sitting down to warm meals tend to take a back seat....mainly during the day. I find its easier to eat on the go and these items are easy to eat with one hand.
chap stick- dry lips suck
Visine & eye cream- needs no explanation
A love note/ or a pep talk- tell her to read it when she uses the vacuum cleaner method of baby calming, or when she feels overwhelmed. Personalize the letter, but make sure to include some key elements....
- she is doing a great job, she rocks at being a mom!
- an offer of some baby holding so she may shower or whatever she needs to do.
- this phase is only temporary- **although this seemed to piss me off when I heard it.
- to not judge your skills as a mother by how many times you use the vacuum or how much your baby cries.
My experience....
I remember very clearly being overwhelmed as a first time mom.....Calling my mom or husband and saying..."tell me I'm a good mom and I can do this...." ( while crying...and looking for the corkscrew)
After I went back to work (my hours were 5a-1pm) I would relieve my mom at 1pm. By 3pm I would show up at her house in tears with the baby (at least once a week) , just exhausted and needing a nap...the first 6 months Callan would wake every 2 hours and sometimes 1 hour to nurse and it killed me.....finally after my husband gave me a talking-to we had to let him cry it out...no sleep for me was affecting every aspect of my life....CIO was painful for me, but not really as bad as I thought it would be...www.troublesometots.com has some great CIO articles and info on baby sleep in general.
It really does take a village to raise a child and new moms USE your loved ones to make this stressful time easier for you...it will make you a happier & better mommy. When people offer help TAKE IT! Communicate with your husband and tell him how to help. Reach out to other moms for advice, do not think you have to do this alone.
All that being said, the second kid is so. much. easier. It helps that he's a good sleeper at the moment....
****MOMMY RULE #1- never get too comfortable with your current situation...just when you think you have it figured out, your baby changes the game...thats rule#1