Callan's Birth Story

At 14 1/2 months pregnant (not really) you dont go ANYWHERE with out your phone.  Even taking a bath...so naturally I knew I was about to go into labor when I had accidentally kicked my cell phone in the tub trying to haul my ungraceful tank-like body out.  So, if you want to go into labor just drop your phone in a bath tub full of water. Lose ALL of your contacts, and be unable to contact anyone you promised to keep updated when you go into labor.  I think this was a blessing in disguise to tell you the truth....

Me on my Due Date

Later that night,  about midnight,  I was lying in bed asleep when I heard the "click"! I can only describe it as a "click" inside my body. Instantly my eyes flew open, this was it! I was immediately flooded with emotions, excitement, fear. What a weird feeling to not know what the next 24 hours were gonna bring....only that Beau and I would finally get to hold the little person we made together.  I got up to use the restroom and after an abnormal extended amount of time it became obvious that my water had broke...obvious later that is...it makes me laugh now, but at that moment I was very confused and uncertain as to if my water broke or if I just REALLY had to go to the bathroom.  I guess I was in a little shock, I would look in the toilet and sit back down, look in the toilet and sit back down.  I remained confused as to what to do next....Do I wake up Beau? Do I call my Midwife Toni? Am I ever going to be able to get off this toilet?? And then I thought to myself, oh wait...I need contractions, where are the contractions?? I started to worry, but not for long...oh they came.

only 11 days overdue

 I woke Beau up to tell him the news, but told him to go back to sleep, which he did- no problem, was snoring 5 seconds later. I stole Beau's phone and texted Toni just to give her a heads up and she told me to keep her posted.  I laid on my side and started to labor, and timing my contractions with a handy dandy iphone app. I wanted to go back to sleep, but it wasn't happening.  I was laboring along like a champ and if it got too overwhelming I would nudge Beau and say "help" and he would stoke my hair, tell me what a great job I was doing, rub my shoulders. When he got me back in the right frame of mind and relaxed I would say "ok" and he had my permission to go back to sleep...until the next nudge.  That was our system for several hours, I just stayed relaxed as possible, keeping my mind focused and clear to what the goal was, and using my Bradley Method of Natural Birth Training.

We contacted Toni when the contractions got closer together and she arrived at our house around 8am, as did Cheryl who is her assistant and was my Bradley Instructor.  Toni checked me and I was dilated to an 8! All was going perfect!  Too good, as a matter of fact...

The next hour or two I still continued to dilate and was starting to have the urge to push. When Toni checked me though she felt a tiny little lip of my cervix being pulled down by the baby's head, so she didn't want me to push just yet.  I continued to labor and contract and not push....she would check me and that lip would still be there....second verse same as the first- this continued for HOURS, but I held strong and kept myself  "in the zone". While laboring I never looked at the clock, I mostly kept my eyes closed. I was very much focused, quiet and internal.  The only time I realized exactly how many hours had passed was when I looked at the window and noticed the lighting, the sun was starting to go down.

Finally, Toni gave me the okay to start pushing, about 4:30 in the afternoon, so I pushed lying on the bed, I pushed on all fours, I pushed on the birthing ball, I pushed on the birthing stool, then back on the bed I pushed some more....I pushed on my side, on my back, squatting.  Nothing. My arms were tired, my legs were tired, and I was tired.  This is the point where I got very frustrated and wanted to cry. It was like I had missed my window of opportunity. My contractions were dwindling and becoming further apart. After pushing for nearly 4 hours, Toni suggested we go to the hospital and in defeat I agreed. As Beau was getting our things together Toni called ahead and gave the hospital our info and told them we were on our way. She then called Dr. Weslei Rice, who works with Toni's patients when needed and who I had seen a couple of times during my pregnancy.  I liked Dr. Rice and I knew she was pro-natural, so I was very thankful that she was on-call and agreed to come in for me.  I knew Dr. Rice would give me at least a fighting chance to avoid a C-section, slim chance for a woman of my stats- 42 weeks pregnant already in 20+ hours of labor.....

We left my house around 8pm, and while Toni drove us there I continued to have some contractions on the way. I would like to note at this point that the baby was never in danger or distress, his heart rate was normal through the entire labor. His safety was never in question and that was never an issue when deciding to go to the hospital.  So many people had so many opinions about me having a home birth that I wanted to make sure it was clear that Callan was just fine.  I was just exhausted. Want to really test your athleticism, have a baby.  

We arrived at the hospital at 9pm or so, and at that point I had been in labor for 21 hours. The clock was ticking for me to have this baby, when your water breaks the timer starts and you get 24 hours to have your baby due to the risk of infection.

We got to our room and got all set up and they started the Pitocin. I was very nervous about this as you probably realize I would be....I had heard what Pitocin can do and it doesn't play around.  I was still adamant about minimal interventions but knew I was losing my bargaining power by the minute since we were on the timer.  My nurse, Carrie, I liked her...that was a plus.  She had a little sass to her and she got my sense of humor, as you can imagine how delirious I was at that point.  I handled the Pitocin well I guess because I never needed the epidural, but it felt like my body would involuntary curl up at each contraction.  These contractions felt nothing like my previous ones earlier that day, these had some power to them... Dr. Rice showed up and we were ready to go, the Pitocin train had started and there was no stopping it!

Thankfully not this vacuum

Now this is the part of the story where I think I failed myself.  Dr. Rice had suggested doing a vacuum extraction to get him out in 2 pushes. Now, what she said and what I heard were two very different things.  I heard her say with the vacuum  I only have to push twice and I don't think I heard anything more....I get to be done in two pushes, hells yes!!  Now, what she actually said was I only get to push twice, after that it was straight to C-section.  If I could do it over I would have tried with out the vacuum first.  That vacuum was painful....and I had zero pain meds mind you.  So with my very excited and awesome coach Beau on one side and Toni on the other I pushed with all my might! Seriously, my husband's excitement, energy, and encouragement was my driving force.  Catching my breath in between the pushes, the baby's head was on some kind of nerve that made my left leg seize up, oh man that was painful, that gave me more motivation on the second push and we got that big boy out, at 12:18am...24 hours.

Before anything else that baby was handed to me and on my chest, all 9.8lbs, 21 1/2 inches and a head full of dark brown hair.  We did delayed cord clamping and Beau cut the cord. I wish I had a picture of that moment when I was done and my little man was in my arms, there are no words, its indescribable. One of the most important and life changing moments in my life.  I know getting married is a big milestone, but I might have to say that bringing a life into this world is an even bigger milestone!  Imagine how birth would be if we took such great care in planning the details and making the personalized arrangements for our the birth of our children as we do planning a wedding! The food, music, candle lights, photographer, attendants, 
attire...ah here I am with my crazy talk, lol.

Things I learned: 
So back to the part where I said I failed myself,  I only really halfway mean that.  I was beyond exhausted so I cant blame myself for making that choice at the time, but I really wish I would have just tried with the pitocin first and then see if I needed more help.  I learned a very important lesson with that though, while your are in labor is not the best time to make rash decisions like I did about using a tool I knew basically nothing about, you & your spouse really need to be informed about that BEFORE you are in labor...if you can help it...That vacuum and the forcefulness of only having the 2 pushes to get out a baby left me a long road for recovery.

The dumbest question you can ask when a Doctor brings up a suggestion/procedure is "Is it safe?" the answer is yes, of course they think it is or they wouldn't have brought it up! Better questions are "What are the risks for me?" AND "What are the risks for the baby?"- and ideally this should be something you already know, have an educated opinion on, and the good Doc is just refreshing your memory.

In the end you know I'd be lying if I said I wasnt a little heartbroken that I didnt get my home birth, but I know that this was Gods plan for me.   My experience was a beautiful one at home and in the hospital.  

1 day old

3 days old.  Everyone always commented on how "alert" he was!

Read My Husband Beau's point of view on the birth of our son!!

Finally did it

I finally did it...

I wrote Callan's birth story! There was something that was keeping me from doing it....this little internal struggle I had, but reading Brittany's guest post helped me get over it. That and after hearing my birth story Brittany called me "the iron uterus", which I love and I'm considering getting that monogrammed on the back of a black leather jacket in old english letters.

You know, I really haven't made it any secret how I feel about the current one size fits all "recipe" for having a baby that is very popular in hospitals with an OB. But then I got a big fat dose of reality when I had to go to the hospital and get help getting my baby out. It was good for me because now I have seen both sides.

Stop me if you've heard this one.....

How do you know if a woman is having a home birth?  

Give her a minute and she will tell you.

I was that woman...so proud of my home birth that I just knew I would rock like a champ.....but then I didn't. 

All the skeptics and naysayers won and I hated it.  

I hating hearing comments from people that were "so relieved I went to the hospital" and that I "wanted too much to be in control". **** For people who know me well, have a chuckle and please take a moment to visualize my facial expression upon hearing these statements****yep.

I guess thats why I delayed writing it....

But then, over the course of this year I grew up.  My birth wasnt about any of that, people winning or me failing....the "right" way to do things. None if that matters. Having to go to the hospital was good for me...knocked my off my soapbox (a little, lol).

I have come to the conclusion that your birth is YOUR BIRTH. Just do it.  While I will admit that hospitals are not the devil, and I had a great experience in one....I still feel very strongly that its easy to get taken advantage of in most hospitals if you are not educated....meaning that you can be a good little woman in labor who does everything they way THEY want you to so that the staff and Doctor have a good experience OR You can make sure that YOU have the experience you want...whatever that entails. Thats what I'm for.... individualized care.  The only way you are gonna get that is through knowledge.

I will post Callans Birth story in the next day or two, and hopefully I can get my Husband Beau to write his perspective as well....

C-sections & Friedman's Curve

Can you believe Brittany's story? Seriously, when I complain of an ache or being uncomfortable I just think about Brittany and shut the hell up, lol.  She is a super hero in my eyes!  Now, Brittany's situation was the TRUE definition of a medically necessary c-section...sometimes this gets a little murky.

According to Evidence Based Birth :

“Failure to progress” is the number one reason for unplanned C-sections in the U.S.   More than 4 in 10 women who had C-sections for failure to progress had not even reached 5 cm dilation before they were taken to surgery. This means that many of women were still in very early labor when they were told that they weren't dilating fast enough (Boyle, Reddy et al. 2013). 

THEY ARE RUSHING US!

researchers found that about half of all induced women who had C-sections for failure to progress had not reached 6 cm yet (53%)– indicating that they were still in very early labor when their inductions were labeled as “failed” (Zhang et al., 2010b). First-time mothers who are induced at term for no medical reason have a C-section rate of approximately 24%, with the largest percentage of these Cesareans being performed in early labor—before the woman reaches 6 cm (Laughon et al. 2012).  Studies have found that there are no harmful effects to the baby if a woman is given more time to labor with an induction. Researchers have shown that women who are induced are more likely to have longer early labors than women who go into labor on their own (Harper et al. 2012). 


STOP RUSHING US!  We are all different women, with different body types, different pain tolerances, different preferences for intervention in birth.

STOP BASING MY LABOR ON A STUDY DONE 
60 YEARS AGO!
Friedman's Curve is no longer relevant! 

So what is this Friedman’s curve? When was it invented? Does it apply to women today?

In 1955, Dr. Friedman of Columbia University published a study describing the average amount of time it took women to dilate during labor (Friedman 1955).  Dr. Friedman’s study focused on 500 first-time mothers who gave birth at term in 1954.  96% of the women in this study were sedated with drugs.  Dr. Friedman plotted women's labors on a graph, and then figured out the average length of time it took to a woman to dilate each centimeter. This graph became known as the famous “Friedman’s Curve.”

Although it was published nearly 60 years ago, Friedman’s curve still serves as the basis of how most physicians define normal labor (Gabbe, Niebyl et al. 2012). In fact, as recently as 2010, researchers claimed that Friedman’s curve continues to “govern labor management.” In other words, most care providers use this graph to dictate how they manage a woman’s labor (Zhang, Troendle et al. 2010).

Modern researchers have come to the definitive conclusion that we can no longer apply Friedman’s curve to women of today’s world. Too many things have changed since 1955. Women are no longer sedated during labor, but epidurals are commonplace; Pitocin is used much more frequently for both labor induction and augmentation, women are older and tend to weigh more, and forceps are hardly ever used. All of these things can either slow down or speed up the rate of labor.

Blow your OB's mind and ask them their views on Friedman's Curve! 

Now, I have had conversations with women that say they WANT a c-section, to which I could not even muster up a reply, just smiled and someone, thankfully, changed the topic.  That is her right and my silence was me trying to be respectful of her preference.  I just cant help but think its based on fear though and that kinda breaks my heart....I want to hug her and tell her she is tougher than she thinks and to not be afraid.

There are reasons to NOT want a c-section if you can help it...one of them being it affects formation of their microbiome...read more here.

It also can interfere with hormone exchanges after being born. Did you read this?

It can also reduce your chances of breastfeeding successfully.

I know c-sections are not the end of the world, and there are tons of sweet healthy babies born via c-section every day.   I'm not saying c-sections are the devil,  but if its something in particular that YOU hope to avoid I have armed you with some extra info- just by you knowing all this will decrease your chances of a c-section. You will not be fooled by "failure to progress" and you will not be afraid to tell the Doc you want more time.