Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

Well at least when it comes to having this baby...lol.

Everyone I know that was due in June has had their baby.....everyone but me.

My good friend who was due 5 days after me...yep she had her baby last night. I am genuinely excited for her and only a teensy jealous...we wagered a margarita on who would domino first.....looks like she's buying!

I'm only 2 days past my due date....which due dates are totally a scam to make you feel like you are inadequate and broken and a failure....for some reason I had it in my head I was going to have him before my due date (I'm sure 99% of all women think the same thing).  What's funny is I even wrote a post awhile back talking about how I was gonna throw my due date out the window, and have peace and patience for this baby to come, I had a plan to be earth mother buddha goddess and not let having this baby affect me ...well that was then and this is now, and my know-it-all 2nd trimester blog posts can make like a baby and suck it...

I am so uncomfortable, I cant hardly sleep, I'm emotional, my stretch marks feel like they are burning in some places on my belly, I really could go on and on, but I'll spare you....

The only thing that has helped me is every morning I get up and tell myself "Today is the last day you will be pregnant..." and for some reason that helps me appreciate it a little more and gets me through the day....and then at night before I go to bed...still pregnant and NOT in labor...I pray for God to grant me His peace, and faith in His plan for me and baby.

So that's whats up.  I will say I am very appreciative to not be receiving a lot of texts and messages with the "no baby yet?" theme... that has spared me some of my sanity.

Go forth and be confident

I just read a blog post on how this woman is annoyed with the "Cult of Natural Childbirth".  She goes on about how we try to make other mothers feel guilty for choosing an epidural, how we make child birth and our birth stories too big of a spectacle...medicine is progress...natural is ancient...blah blah.  I get really annoyed by posts like this.....

Why? Cause I'm so pro-natural I cant see straight? NO, because I cant imagine why ME choosing to have a natural home birth would make YOU feel guilty in any way...Yes, I like to talk about it and I personally think what I'm doing is super cool...duh, that's why I'm doing it....because its what I want to do...and it if for some reason makes another woman feel guilty or less of a woman in any way...well I tend to think there are some underlying confidence issues there....

Go forth and be confident in your birth decisions!

If your not confident then read up on it, talk to people who've had different experiences than each other and see which one you identify with- then aim that direction and don't let anyone else deter you!

If my blog annoys you, its easy- don't read it.  If you don't like the way I'm choosing to birth my son- don't ask about it.  I don't care what you think and you shouldn't care what I think!

See if you can follow me here:

Did you know my kitchen walls are a beautiful turquoise blue?  My husband and I love it, it makes me happy to look at it and I just love the pop of color with our wood cabinets. Turquoise is a pretty daring color, its not for everyone.  Am I proud of the color of my kitchen? yes! Do I think you should paint your kitchen this color? Sure, If you want, and I will help you!

The color turquoise helps to open the lines of communication between the heart and the spoken word. It presents as a friendly and happy color enjoying life. In color psychology, turquoise controls and heals the emotions creating emotional balance and stability. Cool, huh? A little info there for ya!

Should you feel guilty or less of a person because your kitchen is not turquoise? NO.  Do I annoy you because I go on and on about the color of my kitchen and why I painted it that way? Am I a member of a cult because I like bold colors and love to talk about it? No No NO!

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Of course I think birth is a bigger deal than the color of my kitchen, but the message is the same... None of us are alike, and that's ok...I just want to offer support to those who are similar to my way of thinking....its easy to get support for a normal hospital birth with an epidural...its the norm.  So sue me if I want to help out a mom that wants to go a different route than that.

Forced C-Sect in the News

Since I am now at home on Maternity leave, getting ready to have this baby, my schedule is all out of sorts....so posting here has been on the back burner. My midwife "checked" me on Monday and said that I was dilated to a 4, which is good news, but that still doesn't tell me how long I will stay at a 4 and doesn't give any indication on when I will have this baby. I can tell you that yes, I am ready....and being at home just waiting is a "catch 22". Thank God for my helpers, the Hubs, Mother and Mother in Law....its very difficult being 9 months pregnant with an 18 month old....and I don't expect it to be significantly easier with a newborn or anything...I just want my body back, I'm tired of feeling like an achy tugboat.

I was watching CBS Morning News and they did a story on a woman who is suing a Hospital in New York for forcing her to have a C-Section......see people...this is what I'm worried about.  This is not acceptable.  You can see the video of her interview here or read below...

"A woman is suing a New York hospital, claiming she was given a cesarean section against her will, reports CBS News contributor Dr. Holly Phillips.

Rinat Dray, 35, is the mother of three boys. Her first two were delivered by C-section and resulted in difficult recoveries. So in 2011, she was determined to have her next baby naturally, through a procedure called "vaginal birth after cesarean," or VBAC. It carries risk but can be performed successfully. 

After several hours of labor, Dray's doctor pushed back. "He said, 'It doesn't matter if you're making good progress. I don't think it's going to be natural. I don't have all day for you,"' Dray said.
She said she felt he was being impatient as he continued to pressure her to have a C-section right away, warning her that her uterus would rupture and her baby was at risk.

"They pushed me into the operation. I was begging all the way, 'Don't do it, my baby is fine! Don't do it!"' Dray said. "His answer was just, 'Don't speak."'

Ultimately, Dray said she never gave consent when she was going into her C-section procedure.

Dray is suing the hospital and doctors, claiming negligence, malpractice and lack of informed consent.

Michael Bast, Dray's attorney, provided the doctor's handwritten note from her medical file, spelling out his concerns.

"The fetus is at risk for serious harm without the C-section, and for the mother, 'benefits ...outweigh risks,"' said a note in which a senior hospital staff signed off on the procedure.

Dray's attorney said the smoking gun for her case is also in the notes.

"I have decided to override her refusal to have a C-section," the doctor wrote.

"The mother has the right. It is morally wrong, it is medically wrong, it is always wrong to take a knife and stick it into a woman when she says no," Bast said.

Dray said she would like to grow her family of three boys, but she said giving birth scares her now.

"They forced me like that. It was very painful to be treated all this way," she said, adding that she felt like her rights were being taken away from her.

"I was treated less than an animal," Dray said.

Dray also said her bladder was damaged in the C-section delivery and she is seeking unspecified damages for that, as well."

 What a horrible experience.  Instead of providing a specific list of risks for this particular case, the Doctor uses a blanket excuse/ possible scare tactic of "The fetus is at risk for serious harm without the C-section, and for the mother, 'benefits ...outweigh risks,"'.....and I'm hungry and late for my lunch date.  My instinct sides with the Mom on this one...why?  Because I think, like the majority of us,  she is a good Mom who would not want to do anything to harm her child....Because she has 2 other children she has cared for and raised...she didn't appear to be a reckless parent.

According to the Mother the Doctor was being impatient, and hopefully she can prove that in court...I think Hospitals and Doctors will take notice and be more patient any Momma friendly...that's all we want anyway...