Baby Be Born Baby is 1 Year old!

Wow, has this past year flown by it seems! Briggs has been such an easy going baby, happy, never gets too worked up about anything...which made having 2 under 2 yrs actually a lot better than I thought it was going to be! I was seriously scared about not being able to handle it.  

 Being my second baby, (and my last) I have reveled in his babyness...soaking it all in, moment to moment.... Totally eating it up, and ultimately making it harder to let it go. 

(Frozen Break)

 I didn't do this with my first, Callan, I was so excited to see his progression and what new things he had in store for us.  Its all still very exciting, as they are starting to play and interact with each other more and more....I am truly blessed....and truly exhausted, and truly done having kids. I have thought about surrogacy, and helping out another family, but that will be a decision in the future.  Right now my hands are full....but so is my heart! 

Ya'll take care.

Love, Kellie

To the friend of a pregnant woman...

Normally I write to the preggies themselves, 

but today I wanted to talk to YOU, the friend of a preggie!

The topic I want to shed some light on is "Due Dates".

The #1 question a woman is asked for the entirety of  9 months is "When are you due?"...multiple times a day...from friends, loved ones, neighbors, every 3rd person they see at a grocery store, the bank teller, someone's pet parrot-->

And then those same people ask AGAIN, towards the end of the pregnancy - they cant seem to remember, which is understandable...they aren't the one having the baby....but the pregnant woman remembers...and in her head she's saying "Really? I have to tell you AGAIN! UGHHH"

After a while a due date can start to feel like a deadline.

Deadlines = pressure

pressure = unhappy/stressed preggie

For the friend of a pregnant woman who has chosen to trust Gods timing, and has decided not to induce (unless medically necessary), this post is even more important for you to read. Waiting is not necessarily an easy task in this day and age. She is relying on you to support her, lift her up and encourage her.

2 ways you can help her & encourage her:
1. Literally tell her you are proud of her and that she can do it!

2. Don't make too big a deal of the due date....
ESPECIALLY TOWARDS THE END OF HER PREGNANCY....
Its only an estimate.

There are so many factors, it can be off by weeks even!

I have a sweet little 6 month old now, but I remember very vividly that physically and

mentally those last few weeks of pregnancy are brutal.

The last thing a pregnant woman needs is constant check ups, via text, social media or through relatives..

"No baby yet?"

"when are you going to induce?"

Don't be that person.
 (I dont care how good of friends you are)

As the March of Dimes says "Healthy Babies are worth the wait!"

The brain, heart, lungs, and immune system all mature at different rates — and some may need a little more time than others.

Courtesy of March of Dimes

So be a good friend to the Mama to be..

And Mama's, it is very hard to do at the end, but sit tight
and know your baby will come will its ready! YOU CAN DO IT!

****If you start to worry, there are options to make sure your baby is fine.  Talk to your Doctor or Midwife, I know some suggest an ultrasound to make sure all is well.

Mama's feel free to comment on how you feel about this,
 and if I've left off anything!

10 things from 100 Births

From Kellie: I came across this and I was fascinated! Her website has all kinds of great info and an AWESOME month to month reading guide!!!!Check it out!

"Ten Things I've Learned From 100 Births" by Jill Christianson

I attended my 100th birth in May. I have learned something at every birth, but here are the big lessons I've come away with so far:

1. Women are strong. There's "36-hour (or 72-hour) natural childbirth" strong; "coming to terms with getting an epidural even though you really, really didn't want one" strong; "recovering from a c-section while caring for a newborn" strong; "hanging on through a fast and furious labor that squeezed all of the intensity of a 12-hour birth into 2 hours" strong; and "experiencing the loss of your baby and surviving" strong. I come away from every birth with a new appreciation for mothers' strength, determination, and love for their babies.
2. First labors are long, second labors are short, and third labors are unpredictable.
3. A good care provider is worth her weight in gold.
4. Because of hospital protocols, I've seen........ 

Read the rest on her blog here

How to have a quick birth

My second baby I gave birth in an hour and a half, which still seems crazy to me....

I dont know if the things I did to prepare for the birth of my baby actually directly affected the length of labor or not but I thought I'd share it with you...just in case, lol...never hurts, right?

1. I had already had a baby.... a 9.8 lb baby (which I didnt really do anything to prepare my body and had a 24 hour labor)

2. I did prenatal Yoga once, sometimes twice a week.  I noticed that it helped me with the aches of pregnancy and provided a little mental clarity and calmness (for a little while at least).  I could notice a big difference if I skipped a week.

3. I had regular chiropractic adjustments, which keeps your pelvis in line, helps with sciatic pain, and is just an all over feel-good treatment for your body.

4. I ate salad every single day for lunch, and had plenty of avocado in it, which I think the fats help to make your skin stretchy, maybe it helps you to dilate easier?? I know its good to eat for your down-there area to help prevent tearing.

5. I sat in a squat to play with my kid and watch TV...for as long as my pregnant body allowed me to comfortably. The further along you are, the more frequent you should do it.  Here's how I did it: I sat normally on the couch and then just kinda inched forward and slid down to where my back was leaning up against the bottom of the couch..and just hung out...
and then I would sit down and stretch my legs out and my son would look to see if the baby was coming out yet......(um, just so you know, I am wearing shorts in this pic, lol though it might not look like it at first glance)

6. I took Dr. Christopher's Birth Prep the last 6 weeks, which my Mid-wife recommended,  She has seen a lot of success in it (with shortening labors). Um, I'd say so!

7. I prayed for God to show me His favor with the birth of my little Briggs, and he has over and over again!

Failure to progress

The #1 cause of C-sections is failure to progress.....

here's a simple, yet perfect demonstration on why that can happen in a hospital.....so I encourage you to expect it will likely happen to you, and have a plan ready.

What can you do? Here's some suggestions

Guest Post: Tantrums 101, by Callan

Sup, I'm Kellie's oldest son, Callan....
 Now that I am a big brother and        1 & 3/4ths years old I have decided to dip my toe in the art of tantrums and throwing myself on the floor....

First things first...Reasons to pout, throw a tantrum, and /or throw yourself on the floor: ANY...yep, any reason will do.

If your Mom tries to take anything away from you...ever...
here's what you need to do:

• Scream your face-off- make sure to follow her around the house while doing this. Now, any rookie can do this but if you can recruit your little brother or sis and have them join in then bonus points...you've really made an effort.
• Look at her in anger and hit something, anything...but not too hard as you might hurt yourself.  She'll say "no hitting, be sweet" but dont let that sway you....do it again playa.
• Take something and throw it, anything will do really...but if you really want a reaction I recommend either going for her cell phone or a drink within reach....but be careful on this one because if there's something called "wine" ?sp? in it then you are in really big trouble! Now I haven't done this one yet, I'm saving it for when I really want to do a little "character building" on Mom---> throw her phone IN her drink!!!! Oh man....
• Now here's an optional mind game you can use on her.....Just stop crying and laugh...just for a second though. **Dont over use this one...as you will prob get "evaluated" and put on meds.

How to throw yourself on the floor properly..

Its very basic...hover very low and close to the floor and gently fall on your stomach, arms spread.

The other day I made kind of a rookie move though...I was outside and Mom and Dad were taking me to the fair, Dad had to go back inside and get the keys to his truck....so I had to teach them a lesson....If you say we are going BYE, BYE...then we need to go BYE, BYE! I screamed and was about to throw myself on the ground when I noticed it was gravel and dirt, so I had to change locations mid-tantrum.  So I kept on NOT-keeping-my-cool and hovered as low to the ground as possible as I searched for a more suitable place to fall, the rug at the backdoor fit the bill, so bam. This made Mom laugh...rookie move, I know but once I started,  I had to commit.

                     

Perfect New Mommy Gift

If I were to arrange a gift basket for a new mom, here are some things I would put in it....and it would be the best, most useful gift she ever received!

..... and then I would be her superhero and she would feel forever in my debt......or not

gripe water- it seems like the first 3 months or so are a gassy time for little baby, oh they squirm and struggle to get those cute little toots out, it can make them very uncomfortable and really fussy.  Gripe Water works within minutes of giving to my little guy, and he belches and farts like a grown man, I mean stank bombs ya'll! So add air-freshener to this list as well, lol. After he gets rid of all that gas he is much more content and usually takes himself a nice nap.  Seriously though 9 times out of  8 if your baby is not sleepy, hungry or has a dirty diaper and is still fussy-  its probably gas....this is the brand I like cause you dont have to refrigerate it






vacuum cleaner-  There will come a moment (or moments) when nothing you do will make your baby quit crying.....this will be your saving grace, yes the vacuum. The loud hum will calm your baby and even more importantly calm YOU.  It makes them babies conk-out!....park that bad boy in your living room and use it, trust me!

Nose Frida- this is the ultimate snot sucker! Who are they kidding with those bulb syringes??? This is the real-deal-holyfield.  It seems gross, at first, when you think about your mouth at one end and a snotty nose at the other.  But this thing gets it all out and has as much sucking power as you can muster, and yes there is a filter so you will not ingest any of the grossness....its impossible. I have a napkin next to the baby's head and after inhale all that stuff into the tube I exhale it all on the napkin.  It works like a charm to get your baby breathing freely again. Here's the link.


epsom salt- as a new mom your body has endured A LOT recently .  And now with holding your new baby all the time, and nursing or bottle feeding...your body will be achy from hunching over. If your are co-sleeping or side-lying nursing to catch some more zzz's you'll find yourself in some wonky sleep positions which might not feel so great in the morning.....here's what you do: feed the baby, then hand that baby off to daddy, park him next to the vacuum, and go take yourself a hot bath!

water bottle you can carry with 1 finger- a friend of mine got one for me and it was used a lot! Something you dont even think about...but is very useful because you will have your hands full quite a bit!

dry shampoo-  because showers tend to take a backseat and you'll have guests coming to see that sweet new bundle of joy!









scrunchie (yes, like from the 90's)-styling your hair tends to take a back seat and you'll want that hair out of your face...I wore my hair in a rubber-band day and night and with the breakage I got I could recreate the wings I had in this pic....

I found a cloth scrunchie and have been using it ever since, it saves my hair and is more comfortable for long term wearing, plus it looks really super rad...

Other helpful items....

mints/ gum- brushing your teeth tends to take a back seat, lol...I mean you'll eventually get to it sometime during the day but until then....

snack bars, muffins-  sitting down to warm meals tend to take a back seat....mainly during the day.  I find its easier to eat on the go and these items are easy to eat with one hand.

chap stick- dry lips suck

Visine & eye cream- needs no explanation

A love note/ or a pep talk- tell her to read it when she uses the vacuum cleaner method of baby calming, or when she feels overwhelmed.  Personalize the letter, but make sure to include some key elements....
-  she is doing a great job, she rocks at being a mom!
-  an offer of some baby holding so she may shower or whatever she needs to do.
- this phase is only temporary- **although this seemed to piss me off when I heard it.
- to not judge your skills as a mother by how many times you use the vacuum or how much your baby cries.

My experience....

I remember very clearly being overwhelmed as a first time mom.....Calling my mom or husband and saying..."tell me I'm a good mom and I can do this...." ( while crying...and looking for the corkscrew)

After I went back to work (my hours were 5a-1pm) I would relieve my mom at 1pm.  By 3pm I would show up at her house in tears with the baby (at least once a week) , just exhausted and needing a nap...the first 6 months Callan would wake every 2 hours and sometimes 1 hour to nurse and it killed me.....finally after my husband gave me a talking-to we had to let him cry it out...no sleep for me was affecting every aspect of my life....CIO was painful for me, but not really as bad as I thought it would be...www.troublesometots.com has some great CIO articles and info on baby sleep in general.

It really does take a village to raise a child and new moms USE your loved ones to make this stressful time easier for you...it will make you a happier & better mommy.  When people offer help TAKE IT!  Communicate with your husband and tell him how to help.  Reach out to other moms for advice, do not think you have to do this alone. 

All that being said, the second kid is so. much. easier. It helps that he's a good sleeper at the moment....
****MOMMY RULE #1- never get too comfortable with your current situation...just when you think you have it figured out, your baby changes the game...thats rule#1

Is it safe

I wrote this awhile back, and as I am rearranging my blog I decided to use it as a post rather than delete it....

Is it Safe????  YES! (Until its not)

I used to be quite the pill popper....I mean, how easy is it? There is a buffet of pills you can take for any condition!  

BUT THERE ARE SIDE EFFECTS!!!

But you can always take a pill for those as well...

Have you seen this ad for a lawsuit on TV?

“There are boys who grew breasts as large as ‘D’ cups. There’s a major design defect here, which the judge was going to allow us to pursue, not just the fact that labeling understated risks.” Full article HERE

What does this have to do with babies and pregnancy?? EVERYTHING!   You cant always trust the pill manufacturer to disclose (or even know) all the side effects...

Is that the info the Doctor uses to tell you its safe for you to use?

"the antipsychotic was not approved for use in children
in the US at the time. "

But Doctors prescribed it to them!
And told the trusting Mother that it was safe!

Sometimes the benefits of a drug outweigh the risks, but you should be able to make that decision with
full disclosure of the risks.

AND NOW THIS...

Study Finds Adverse Effects of Pitocin in Newborns....

At the Annual Clinical Meeting of The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, Researchers say this is the first study of its kind to present data on the adverse effects of Pitocin use on newborns. .Though this was a relatively small, retrospective study, the results did reveal that women who were given Pitocin to induce or augment their labors did have an increased risk of having a baby with lower Apgar scores or who required admission to the NICU. Read more

May I ask, WHY is this the "first study of its kind" on how pitocin affects OUR BABIES??!!

Pitocin is so commonly used in hospitals...I just... I cant....this just truly infuriates me.

Acetaminophen in pregnancy linked to
'ADHD-like behaviors'

Wait, isnt that whats deemed safe in pregnancy? 

Read the article HERE

That article is very confusing...

My point is always be conscientious about what you put in your body especially when you have a little human being in there relying on you.  An even if its "safe" right now doesnt mean it will be in the future....I mean, hell, in the 1950's Doctors advised pregnant women to smoke cigarettes for relaxation!  

What day is it?

Hello friends! I have so much I want to blog about since I've become a mother of 2....but I am so exhausted I cant seem to remember any of my brilliant observations. I write a post in my head nearly every day....in the most inopportune times....mainly when I'm trying to go to sleep,lol. Every time I decide to open my laptop a kid hears it and wakes up....so I gave up trying to write at home.

I am back at work now, which I have mixed feelings about...I enjoy having some time outside the house and its nice to be able to use both of my arms for a few hours a day....Briggs will not let me put him down, anyone else holds him and they can put him down with no fuss...not Momma though! Dont get me wrong, I l-o-v-e, love holding and kissing my kids but some times a sista needs to eat...put on deodorant...brush her teeth ...pick her nose...you get the idea.

I plan on re-working the blog a little bit...so expect that around the year 2020...I just did the math and realized thats only 6 years away...man, 2020 sounds like there should be flying cars...

Anywho, its really tough to make this brain work right now so blogging is gonna take a back seat.  I just dont have it in me right now.  

It really is true when you hear people say that being a parent is the hardest and most awesome thing you can ever do.

Check out Mr. Briggs...he sure is changing! He's started smiling a lot and even rolled over a few times...He will be 2 months old tomorrow!

~Kellie

Natalie's Birth Story of Slade

Hey all! Yes I am surviving, 2 under 2 isn't the 24/7 chaos I expected, but that's only because of my awesome Mother and Mother in Law....seriously...it takes a village....but that's another post for another day. 

I want you to check out my friend Natalie's' birth story of Slade.  Natalie and I were due 5 days apart and we bonded over both being big ol' preggers and mothers of 2 boys.  She ended up giving birth the day after my due date and I gave birth the day after hers....funny how things work out, lol.

Please check out her story and her awesome blog!

http://www.theshadyacre.com/

Toodles,

Kellie

Guest Post: Cheryl's Miscarriage

4 Things I Learned from my Miscarriage

**I want to start by saying, this was my experience with a miscarriage.  Your experience may have been different or what you learned or needed during your grieving process may have been different and that's ok.  We can learn from each other and comfort each other and that is the purpose of this post.**

 I woke my husband up early that morning with a kiss and an excited “it's positive!” I was thrilled to be pregnant with my fifth baby. Soon enough, I had all the good, healthy pregnancy signs that put me in bed feeling like death. Life was good. My first prenatal appointment with my midwife was perfect. Baby sounded good, I didn't pass out when she took my blood, I managed to pee in the cup without a mess, all good stuff. Then I went back for my second prenatal and we couldn't find a heartbeat. At first I didn't really worry. I'm sure baby was there just in a funky place that the doppler couldn't pick up. She told me she could try again the next day or I could go get an ultrasound to just check on things. We tried again the next day, still nothing so I made the appointment with the ultrasound tech that confirmed we lost the baby. It was the hardest moment of my life. That was almost two years ago. I have since had another baby but am still part of this club that isn't talked about much. There are four things I learned having gone through a miscarriage.

1. The loss of a pregnancy (no matter how early) can be devastating, take time to grieve.
   I was surprised by the amount of grief I experienced. I couldn't believe the amount of tears I cried for this little person I never got to truly meet. I loved him and my heart ached to hold him and carry him in my belly once again. I was allowed to cry, yell, sleep, be alone, talk, whatever I needed to get through this tough time. I was loved on. I thought that I would be expected to just get on with life but I knew that was impossible and I wondered if I would ever be able to move on. It took time but as the weeks passed, I cried less. Even today, I miss my baby and look forward to the day I get to hold him and kiss him. So, mamas, take your time. There's no rush in grieving.

2. Find a friend and talk about it if that helps you.
   I wanted to talk about what happened. It helped me process it. I talked through my story with several trusted friends but one friend in particular, who had several miscarriages herself , spent many hours crying, praying, talking, and sitting in silence with me. Find this friend, if possible. I was actually surprised by how many women whispered “me, too” when I told them I had a miscarriage. We are in this together, friends, find a mama who relate and let them cry with you, talk with you, hug you, and pray for you. You need it. You don't have to suffer alone. Let the people close to you know what you need. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It doesn't mean you're weak, it means you are a grieving mama and you deserve help and to be loved on.

3. Getting pregnant again doesn't replace the baby you lost or “cure” your grief.
   When I got pregnant again five months after my miscarriage I expected to be healed. I was surprised when I found myself still crying or just still sad for my baby in heaven. This new baby whom I love dearly, my rainbow baby, does not replace the one I lost. I think I will always mourn his loss, mourn the baby that I never got to mother and that's ok.

4. People don't know what to say, forgive them.
   I was actually fairly lucky in this respect. I've heard some of the well meaning but hurtful lines said to mothers mourning a loss. Likely this is said by someone who has never had a miscarriage or lost a baby, so forgive them. I cringe to think I was among those well meaning people before my loss, I pray I have the right words now. For me, the most hurtful thing was my baby not being acknowledged. We had a family holiday about a month after the miscarriage and I so badly wanted someone to come to me and acknowledge his life, death, and my broken heart. I know they felt awkward and didn't want to hurt me, I understand that and I forgive them.

Mamas, if you are reading this after a loss of your own, I'm so very sorry. I know how your heart aches and whole body yearns to hold that sweet little baby. I pray for hope and healing for you. You are not alone in this. It's not a club I wanted to be in but I hope I am now able comfort a grieving mother. Much love and hugs to you, sweet mama. Your baby is waiting for you and you'll be together again.

There is a website that I wish I had known about after my miscarriage that may help you during your journey.  www.stillbirthday.com  I hope you are able to find the information and/or comfort your are looking for and needing.

 Many blessings to you,

Cheryl

- See more at: http://www.darlingbirth.com/blog

Dear Husbands

At one point (or more) in your pregnancy there might be tension between you and your spouse.  I found that to be true at the very end of the pregnancy as we were patiently(Lol) waiting for our baby to be born...... we were both getting more and more frustrated with each other until I wrote this.....feel free to give it to your husbands, it really helped me and my husband get back on track. ~Kellie

Dear Husbands,

Pregnancy is not easy on anyone is it?  The woman you knew as your wife is now a ball of hormones, wearing your ring.  Its hard to know the right thing to say or do, you don't feel appreciated for the extra duties you've taken on around the house and with the other kid(s), and sometimes its hard to feel the love.  Unfortunately for you, when dealing with a ball of hormones you've got to be bigger and stronger. What ever you do...don't feed the beast!  As your role of the supportive Husband, you need to lift her up and show her love...even when it might be incredibly difficult. One minute she is smiling and the next she is in tears and biting your head off...choose to forgive her and show her love.... give her a kiss, and a hug and simply tell her you love her.  Remember that she is not herself right now and try to remember what she is enduring as well-  Her world has completely changed, she is the protector of this little being you created together and that's a lot of pressure.  Her body has completely changed and will continue to do so, making everyday tasks uncomfortable and difficult which can be very frustrating. She is not getting much sleep at night.  You, as the Husband, cant possibly understand what she is going through and that might make her feel isolated and alone...your presence, support and affection is still very much needed even though you might not feel like it is.

I understand it must be frustrating to come home and there she is, again, laying on the couch....must be nice. But what she's really doing is trying to ease her back pain and avoid taking any pills that could harm your baby, so maybe cut her some slack.  And know the closer she gets to having your baby, the more important it is for you to be forgiving, supportive, loving and her source of strength. The end of a pregnancy can be a very emotional, frustrating, and lonely time for a woman, and as the Husband you can choose to make it easier or harder for you both. Please remember 2 things, 1- This is only temporary. 2- When you don't know what to do: kiss her, hug her and tell her you love her...that's it.

Love,
Your pregnant Wife

Guest Post: Kimberly Hill IBCLC

One of the first decisions new parents make is how to feed their babies. For those who choose breastfeeding, it’s not uncommon to run into some sort of frustration. While breastfeeding is a natural process, we have lost a lot of breastfeeding knowledge in our culture due to a severe drop in breastfeeding rates in the recent past. Many of us have never seen a baby nurse before we watch our own baby, and basic guidelines of what to expect (in regards to lactation) after you deliver are often mysteries to new parents.

Looking for breastfeeding help can cause even more frustrations. Well meaning grandparents may be passing on outdated information. Friends may share what worked for them while your body and your baby might require a different approach. The “breastfeeding nurse” may have no specific education in breastfeeding at all, or could be a fabulous resource, but how do you know the difference?

Certified childbirth educators, doulas, lactation educators and La Leche League leaders generally have a good basic education in breastfeeding. They will probably cover what a typical nursing relationship looks like in classes and can answer the common questions like, “why does my baby’s poop look like it has seeds in it?” (That’s the casein—the curds in “curds and whey”—that your baby isn’t processing just yet, and it’s totally normal to see it in the early weeks). These birth professionals generally know their limits and will refer out anything that is beyond their scope of practice.

When you’ve determined you are having a more serious problem though, who do you see? The gold standard is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). An IBCLC acquires several years of education specifically in human lactation. They are required to have a background in health sciences, including biology, anatomy, infant and child development, counseling skills and other related topics; complete at least 90 hours of continuing education in lactation; and complete many hours of supervised clinical practice before they can apply to sit for the board exam. After passing through this application process and passing the exam, they become an IBCLC. Many people spend 3-4 years on this process in addition to any college degrees they might have. IBCLCs are required to recertify every 5 years by continuing education or by exam. In short, a person who holds an IBCLC can be expected to have extensive lactation experience. If you are not sure whether or not you are working with an IBCLC, you can check the registry here.

Once you hire an IBCLC, you may be wondering what to expect in an appointment. This will vary a bit depending on your situation, but it is important to remember that both mom and baby are patients when working with an IBCLC and sometimes the root of the problem may be caused by something seemingly unrelated. Your appointment should include reviewing what your primary concerns are and what your breastfeeding goals are. There should be a fairly thorough medical history taken on both you and the baby. Some of these questions will be obviously necessary, like the weight history of the baby. Some may seem more intrusive, like asking for a full list of medications you take, and discussing your menstrual history or any difficulties conceiving. These things seem unrelated but can often yield clues to solving things like low milk supply. Depending on the situation, the IBCLC will also examine your breasts and the baby’s mouth. She should ask permission before touching you or your baby. She may offer or ask to hold the baby and talk to him or her a bit. During this time she is looking for clues and red flags in how the baby holds his or her body and moves around that may be affecting latch or ability to transfer milk well. An oral exam will include assessing for tongue and lip ties and palate abnormalities along with tongue mobility and then discussing these issues with you. While some IBCLCs feel these evaluations should be done on every baby, I feel like it is important to keep my fingers out of baby’s mouth unless there is cause for concern, but I am always keeping a close eye on how baby is moving his or her tongue while we “talk” and during rooting and latching.

If mother is in pain or baby’s weight gain is below normal limits, the IBCLC should observe a breastfeeding session.There are a few ways to approach this task. I choose to have mothers do what they have already been doing and we adjust from there. I strive for a hands off approach, where I talk mom through adjustments rather than physically moving her or the baby. Since I will not be in the home all the time, I think it’s important for parents to learn how to adjust the latch on their own. When latch looks good to me, I ask mom how it feels to her. A latch that “looks good” is not good if mom is hurting. When mom and baby are both comfortable and baby is transferring milk well (while I discuss the signs, I am looking to assess this), I will often bring in dad or grandma or aunt to see what I’m seeing so they can help mom remember what to look for when I am not around. We will try nursing on the second side and I encourage mom and her support person to fix the latch on their own this time before I offer more pointers. A good IBCLC will be encouraging you towards self-confidence and self-reliance. While I am available to my clients for months after I first see them, it is important to me that they build confidence in their own abilities, not reliance on me.

The other topics discussed in an appointment can vary greatly, but will probably include information about how to tell your baby is getting enough milk, the safety of medications while breastfeeding, normal newborn behavior, and general information about transitioning to life with a new baby. The IBCLC will help develop a plan of action that will help you along toward your goals. This may include a specific set of directions to follow each day, suggestions for blood work to request, regular weight checks, and/or just a general guideline to follow. This action plan should be evidence based and the IBCLC should be clear if any of her suggestions are more anecdotally based. She should also be sure you understand why each suggestion is being made.

The IBCLC will probably give you some tips about working through certain milestones many babies go through on a predictable schedule. She should make sure the plan of action is doable for mom’s specific situation. This involves reading a mom’s emotional state, listening empathetically to what her challenges are and discussing point blank if mom feels the plan is feasible or not. Be honest with your IBCLC. If you are already completely overwhelmed, do not let someone tell you that you have to nurse 12 times a day, pump 12 times a day and supplement in order to be successful. It is rare that there is only one solution to a problem and a good IBCLC should be able to adjust your plan to fit your family. A summary of your visit and the plan that was agreed on should be provided in writing.

After the appointment, there should also be follow-up. I generally stay in touch with my clients primarily by email. This gives them a written record of our conversation that they can refer back to at anytime. I choose to include follow-up in the initial fee I charge because I feel it encourages moms to contact me early if things aren’t going well. It is always easier to intervene earlier on. In general, I will contact my clients 2-3 days after I see them to check in and see how they are doing and make sure the plan we agreed on is working for them, or make adjustments where necessary. I continue following up on this schedule until things settle down and mom is feeling confident. If mom has requested it, I will provide a written report of our visit(s) and conversations that she can provide to her or the baby’s doctor.

An IBCLC can be a key member of your healthcare team. They are the specialists in lactation that can help address a wide range of breastfeeding issues.

~Kimberly Hill, IBCLC

You can reach her at:

 momsmilkbcs.blogspot.com

 or facebook page http://www.facebook.com/MomsMilkBcs

Guest Post from Briggs' Birth Team

When Kellie asked me to write something about her birth this time my response was that it will be short and sweet. That was because she didn’t do much labor time and I wasn’t there but about 26 minutes before Mr. Briggs made his grand appearance. So I thought since Kellie has done such a great job educating you folks about pregnancy, labor and birth I should take some time to go back and make a little history leading up to Briggs birth.

Gina, Midwife in training
Toni, Midwife
Callan & Briggs

For Kellie’s first pregnancy, she decided to use me as her midwife and have a homebirth. She had a healthy good pregnancy, took classes and did everything right. She carried the baby to 41 weeks and 6 days. Then the great day came with a SROM, spontaneous rupture of membranes at 12:30 AM. Contractions started soon after. She labored at home with just Beau for about seven hours and then called me to come. Amazingly this awesome first time mom was 8 cm at 8:00 AM! Whoohoo! We should be having a baby soon! Right! Well from there it was a slow go. Five hours later, she was still at 9 cm and was starting to tire out and contractions were spacing and loosing there ump. We tried, honey, labor tinctures, resting, position changes. Finally got complete about 4:30 PM and started pushing. Tried all positions, toilet, stool, bed, toilet, stool, more tincture ....... About 8:00 PM after 3 1⁄2 hours of pushing and not a real sign that we would be pushing the baby out soon we decided a hospital transport was the best decision. After we transferred to the hospital, took a little rest, got some pitocin, got some good contractions going again and with a little help with the vacuum extraction, the cutest little chunky baby made his appearance and we were all so happy to see this cute little man. Mr. Callan weighed in at 9 lb 8 oz. and was a handsome baby boy! Kellie was so totally amazing to go through this long drawn out end of labor phase that just seem to last forever! But she was brave and strong and hung in there and pushed out her big boy!

I always like to tell my first time mommas that “you never have to have a first baby but once!” So, nine months later ..... next pregnancy. Kellie was so strong and brave again to decide that she was  up to the challenge to do this again. She rocked this pregnancy, being so much wiser and ahead of the game this time around. She gained less weight, had little swelling this time and made great plans for the coming birth! She planned for a photographer, massage therapist, her mother, midwife and birth assistant to all be there for her beautiful water birth! Then as nature would have it she went into labor at 40 weeks and 6 days. She started labor at 7:00 AM with the SROM again, but this time without contractions so she took some castor oil about 8:00 AM. Kellie took a nap and woke to contractions about 10:20 AM. Her text was funny, 10:40 AM – “Getting stronger contractions. Seem to be 5 min apart.”
I replied, “ Are you ready for me to come?”
Kellie, “Not yet”.
Me, “ Ok, I just need to change”.
Kellie, “ Maybe u should come and see”.

 I arrived at 11:17 AM and no one was coming to the door. I decided I better let myself in and as I opened the door, Beau was coming. He was busy with setting up the pool. I went to check on Kellie. She was having a really hard contraction. Once it was over I got vital signs and listened to the baby. Then another strong contraction and as I listened I said, “are you pushing with those?” I don’t think she had realized that yes, she was pushing.

At that point I had to move quickly to get things brought in and set up for the birth. No, I didn’t get things set up. I was looking for pads, gloves, etc..... the plastic wasn’t on the bed. I called to Beau to ditch the pool idea; there would be no time for a water birth. Cheryl the birth assistant walked in as Kellie was pushing again. Baby was coming. No time for set up. No time for a water birth. I think at some point, I don’t remember if it was before Briggs made his grand appearance or just after that I noticed Kellie’s mom and the massage therapist had gotten there.

After arriving at 11:17 baby was born at 11:43 AM! 26 minutes and he was born. Kellie was so amazing and strong to be so far into her labor and just an hour before be telling me she wasn’t ready for me to come! She was amazing!

Briggs came in weighing 10 pounds even! My first look at him I saw Callan’s same little face! These boys could be twins! I know they will change and take on their own looks but no denying they are brothers!It was a great honor to help Kellie and Beau bring these precious boys into the world! I love this work and seeing families grow!

~Toni Kimpel, Midwife

____________

Dear Briggs,

Your birth was incredible. Your mama is amazing. I was so excited when your mom announced her pregnancy and home birth plans with you. You see, your mom and dad were in my Bradley classes when they were pregnant with your big brother and I got to know them pretty well. I was at your house for a long time when she was in labor with Callan. I was so proud of her strength and determination during his birth. I knew she had big plans with you and was proud again of her determination and further educating herself on birth and her options. She started a blog to help other moms learn more about birth and share stories and experiences. She wrote a lot about you. She was pretty smitten by you from the very beginning. Then after much anticipation and excitement, the day that we all were waiting for (mostly your mommy!) finally arrived...

I woke up Saturday morning, June 28^th, to a text message from Mrs. Kimpel and your mom telling me that her water had broken and you were going to make your appearance! So I got ready, set up my babysitting and waited around for updates. Your mom text me and said she was going to take a nap. I thought that was a great idea! Laboring is hard work so a nap would give her lots of energy to be able to bring you into the world. An hour and a half later Mrs. Kimpel sends me another text telling me to head to your house. I got all my kiddos all packed up and just about ready to send to the babysitters when I get another message telling me she's pushing! You are headed out! So I very quickly scoot my people out the door (luckily they were just going across the street!) and hop in the car. I didn't even have my shoes on and forgot my watch that I bought just to wear for your birth! I high-tail it to your house. It is about a 10 minute drive for me. I park, and run into the house. I make it to your room just in time to see your mom in the middle of pushing. I quickly gathered up your blankets, try to get your heart beat but you were already on your way out! You were born about 5 minutes after I walked in the door. You guys work fast! You and your mama made a perfect team. Once you were up on her chest, you cried right away and I cried, too! I had no doubts your mom would have a beautiful home birth. She totally rocked it! You looked just like your brother and quite a chunky little monkey, too!

We took some time to let you nurse and take care of your mom, you met your daddy, and your grandma came to meet you, too. We weighed you and couldn't believe you were a whopping 10 pounds of sweet perfection! When she was ready, we got a bath ready for her and the two of you took an herbal bath, complete with flowers. You mom's friend, Whitney, was there photographing all of the special moments. It was beautiful! You got to meet your brother and take more pictures with your grandparents. You were passed around and loved on by everyone!

You are part of such a sweet family. You will forever have a special place in my heart, little man. Your mom and dad are just so in love with you. You had a gentle, sweet start in life and I wish you many blessings and a long and happy life.

Much, much love,

Cheryl

The Birth of My little Briggs

6-28-14

Once upon a time a 41 week pregnant woman was about to go to bed, she was exhausted and her back was aching terribly. She left the dishes in the sink, the toys all over the living room floor and went to bed leaving her house in total disarray...something she hadn't done in awhile, since she was planning a home birth and wanted to be ready for company (the birth team) at a moments notice.

SO we all know where this is going....yep, the next morning I woke up about 7am and noticed my amniotic fluid was leaking....my water had broke!  I texted Toni my Midwife & the rest of the team just to inform them and let them know that today was the day!

Last moments as a only child

Since I wasn't having any contractions I thought I would put on some make up and have a nice breakfast. Beau was picking up the house...I called my mom and told her the news so she came to pick up our son.  Beau inflated the pool I wanted to birth in and then we both decided to take a nap... it took 24 hours last time to get that first baby out so we wanted to be ready for the long haul again if need be.

I woke up at 10:20 with a pretty strong contraction, so I went in the living room and sat on my birth ball while timing my contractions but they weren't consistent, ranging from 3-5 min apart.  Beau asked me a question and I realized I couldn't focus on him and answer him during a contraction...I knew things were getting serious but I still didn't think we were close to "go time" since I just starting having contractions.  I texted Toni at 10:40 and told her what was going on, she asked if I wanted her to head over...I said no, not yet....and then after another really strong contraction I texted her again saying "well, maybe you should come and see".  I tried to stand up to move to the bedroom and my belly looked like it was at my knees it was so low...Beau had to help me get back there.

Once in the bedroom I tried to get in the zone, like I did for Callans birth, but it just wasn't happening.  I couldn't relax.  I started sweating and got real hot, I asked Beau for a cold compress....to which my college-degree-holding, corporate-accountant-intelligent husband could not figure out what the hell a cold compress was.....seriously...he looked at me baffled, he walked out of the room and then right back in and said "whats a cold compress?" and all I could do was try my best to give him a "are you really asking me that right now?" look on my face as I was having a killer contraction....he managed to use some context clues and a few moments I had my cold compress. 

Toni arrived at 11:10am, she took a look at me and realized we were closer than I had thought.  After that things started happening really fast.  Beau was trying to fill up the birth pool and Toni said don't bother...lol, we don't have time.  I was laboring on my side and I remember trying so hard to relax, but my toes were curling and my lips were pursed, and I kept telling Beau, "I cant relax".  He was trying to coach me but it all felt very erratic.  I even said at one point " I don't think I can do this".  All I knew was I couldnt last 20 hours like this....

I kept hearing from Beau, Toni and Cheryl about how great I was doing...and I remember looking at them all wide-eyed and crazy-like...at least that's how I visualize it in my head, lol...Toni wanted me to roll on my back to check me to see how far dilated I was...and when I did I immediately had a strong urge to push...so I did.  I remember everyone scrambling to get whatever it was they needed, because this baby was coming out!


 At one point I felt the baby moving and I remember the image that popped in my head was like a soldier doing an army crawl.  Briggs was certainly working with me!  Another thing that got my attention in all this chaos was my babybelly...while I would have a contraction to push, my belly would basically stand straight up...it was the weirdest thing I had ever seen! It reminded me of a skyscraper...

So back to the story....
So there I was a-pushin' and Beau was at my side, holding my hand cheering me on...I remember saying "It stings, it stings" , lol and then Toni said for me to push on the next contraction to get his head out...to which I replied "no", to which she replied "Don't tell me no!"....a few pushes later he was born! They immediately placed him on my chest and I think we all took a moment to catch our breath.  He was born at 11:43am, a little over an hour after I had my first contraction!

I think my Mom, Alisa the massage therapist, and Whitney the photographer, arrived just moments after he was born.  Its funny because earlier that week I had highlighted a quote from a book I was reading, it said "stay committed to your decisions, but flexible in your approach."- Tony Robbins.  I thought this would be good to remember because as much as you can plan something, you really can never know how it will actually turn out.  I always knew, in all these blog posts I did about planning the birth, that it would happen how it was gonna happen and I really didn't have control of that....but it was fun fantasizing, visualizing and planning it out anyway. 

So there you have it.... Briggs Kyle Hinze, 10lbs, 21.5 inches....Born in the comfort of our home, and it was a quick, but great experience!